Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Manliest State Scorecard

So yesterday Texas Red stirred up the hornets' nest a little bit by insulting every state in the union. I think you folks should cut him a little slack. Yeah, he took things in a direction I probably wouldn't have, but he's just a high school kid. He'll learn. In fact I think he already has. Meanwhile I've recruited another resident of Texas to do a post that hopefully builds Texas up without tearing every other state down. That post will be dropping soon. And all things considered I still think this guest posting thing is going ok, so keep your guest posts coming.

But the dust up yesterday made me realize that we need some sort of objective way to determine the manliness of a state. So far most of the cases for Alabama or Michigan or California have been "this is why my state is awesome and your's is full of bozos." There needs to be some hard criteria that we can use to evaluate each state. That way we can avoid any sort of "I'm right, you're wrong" back and forth stuff. So here is a scorecard for calculating the manliness quotient of a state. Note that your state could possibly end up with negative points, which means that your state is going to be kicked out and replaced by Australia or possibly Mars. My goal is for a representative from each state to go through this scorecard and leave a comment with the measurement for their state. That way we will know for sure who is the manliest. Without further ado, the scorecard.

Actually, hold on...side track for a second. What does "without further ado" even mean? What the heck is "ado" and why is it ok to have some of it, but not too much? Like I can ado for a little while, but I can't take it any further without getting to the non-ado stuff. I don't like it, I'm officially banning ado from this blog. Ado? Adon't. Now, the scorecard.

1. State Flag manliness. Your state flag gets rated on a scale of -5 to 5, with -5 if your flag is just a pink scarf and 5 if your flag cannot possibly be set on fire. There is some subjectivity here, sure, but let's remember that simple is better. So like The Farmer and Mike said, Alabama's X is pretty good, and is better than Florida, which is an X but with another symbol. Latin phrases are good, because they sound sophisticated. You need to ask yourself, if you carried this flag into battle, would it make you want to fight harder, or would it make your enemies laugh at you?

2. Potential coolness of your state bird. If your bird is a raptor, duck, owl, turkey, or chicken of some kind, you get 10 points. If your bird has a name that sounds formidable, whether the bird itself is actually tough or not, you get 5 points. If I have to get out some kind of field guide to identify your bird, -5 points. If you have the same state bird as another state, -10 points.

3. Professional sports teams. 5 points for every professional sports team you have in the Big 3 American sports (NFL, MLB, NBA). An additional 3 points for every pro hockey team you have. Plus 1 point for every championship in their sport in the last 10 years. -2 points for every player on one of these teams who is a thug of some kind, whether he has been arrested recently, is known for being disrespectful to women, or has taken performance enhancing drugs. -2 points for every WNBA team...this is not a slight on women's athletics, but by default they aren't manly, so you lose points for that.

4. College sports teams. 5 points for every college sports team you have in the Big 3 American sports, with an additional 3 points for every hockey team. Plus 1 point for every championship in their sport in the last 10 years. -2 points for every coach or player who is widely known as a jerk or cry baby. +2 points for championships in any other sport...swimming, equestrian, chess boxing, whatever. Except for men's volleyball, which costs you -5 points. We'll limit this to Division 1 teams, just so you don't have to count the hundreds of JUCO teams and such each state no doubt has.

5. Hunting/fishing/outdoor activities. Your state is rated on a scale of -10 to 10, where -10 is if there are gun restrictions in your state and +10 is if the animals can shoot back. The purpose of this scale is to assign values to states based off of how good the hunting and fishing are, as well as how far away from civilization you can be when attempting to hike or camp. You also get 5 points for the presence of each of these: a national park, lots of freshwater lakes and rivers, a mountainous area, a coastal area, a desert area, a swamp area. -2 points for every city or metro area you have that has more than 2 million people, due to the presence of metrosexuals.

6. Unique foods. Does your state have any unique foods it is associated with? A style of BBQ or pizza, a sandwich, seafood, dessert? +2 points for every unique food style you can think of. But if the food style you are associated with is not delicious, -2 points. For instance, a few years ago I visited Maine, and tried a local beverage known as Moxie. I took a sip and thought that I had mistakenly purchased paint thinner. Sorry Maine, -2 points for you already.

7. Badical men who are from your state. +1 point for every person you can name that we all would agree is badical who is either from your state, or lives there now. But if you list someone that we don't all agree is badical, -1 point. So while I'm sure your grizzled grandfather is the manliest dude you know, I don't know him, so he doesn't count. Unless your grizzled grandfather was General Patton, in which case, +1. See how that works? Also -1 for total clowns that come from your state, like Kid Rock. Limit of five good/five bad guys per state, so as not to give the more heavily populated states an advantage.

8. Naval vessels. What ships have been named after your state, and what have they done that is noteworthy? Every ship you have named after you gets you +5 points, with another +5 points possible if that ship did something cool. -5 points if the ship was sunk at Pearl Harbor. Way to blow it for your state!

9. Neighborhood manliness. Let's say you are in a fairly unmanly part of the country like New England. Should you be penalized that your geography prevents you from being as manly as Wyoming? Maybe you should be rewarded for making the best of your bad situation. So to account for this, survey every state that shares a border with you. Every neighboring state that you are manlier than, you get +5 points. Every state that is manlier than you causes you to lose 5 points. You should get credit for being better than average despite your limitations.

10. Miscellaneous manliness. Is there something about your state that gives you some sort of advantage that other states might not have? For instance, Colorado is square, so they could easily build a fence around their border to keep out malcontents. That's +10 points to Colorado. Utah doesn't drink, meaning they could attack the rest of us while we're partying. +5 Utah. What kind of random features does your state have that would help it win a battle royale with all the other states? You can award yourself up to 10 points in this category, so get creative.

So there you go, ten categories of manliness for evaluating your state. I'll put a tally in the sidebar of the website, so that we can keep track of the official scores for each state. This will only work if you state residents take up my call and score your state, so please help us. Figure up your scores and leave your comments now! Thanks for your help.

Dr Awesome


mmcreel April 7, 2010 at 2:24 PM  

Good gracious Dr. Awesome! I'm going to be doing research for weeks! I am from the great state of Louisiana so it's going to take a looooong time to add up all of our points. But have no fear, our state bird is the PeliCAN not the PeliCAN'T, so I will get it done.

Heather April 7, 2010 at 2:33 PM  

I'm hoping some fellow resident will step up to do the calculations (since I kinda have to work), but just skimming through this, Florida will most likely win.

We lead in sports (both pro and college), outdoor activities (swamps, forests, best cave diving in the world, and many fauna that consider humans snacks), and unique foods (our men don't just wrestle gators, we eat them). We got plenty of naval vessels named Florida; our men are more manly than GA and AL; and we have some of the most badical men ever who have called Florida home: the Seminole Tribe, the one Indian tribe who never surrendered.

So y'all can fight over number 2. Have fun.

Bennett April 7, 2010 at 7:18 PM  

Idaho +96
1. State Flag +4
It is the state seal with "State of Idaho" written plainly across the bottom. But the seal has an elk, a potato farmer, a sexy lady modestly dressed, mountains, and a latin phrase. -1 point for a lack of simplicity, but it is something so obviously designed by some men. "Oh shoot, we need a flag or somethin' don't we? Let's just put a bunch of manly stuff on it and call it good. We'll use it for our state seal too."

2. State Raptor- Peregrine Falcon
We have a state raptor. That supersedes the state bird. By the way our state fish is a "Cutthroat"! EYah!

3. Professional Sports teams 0
Pro sports are a conspiracy meant to placate the people so they won't notice they are being controlled by the government. (a flaw in the scorecard)

4. College Teams +17
I gave an extra +2 for having a blue football field.

5. Hunting/fishing/outdoor activities. +30 (maximum possible points according to the rules)

This category should count for way more. I know southern states are going to try to say they have a lot of this kind of stuff, but COME ON! Refer to if you want. Idaho has the largest wilderness area in the lower 48. That's millions of acres of uninterrupted wilderness. WILDERNESS. I'm sorry, but this means that states with any portion of them lying east of Colorado don't even qualify in this contest. I realize there is good hunting in Mississippi, but it usually involves sitting in a heated deer stand and dragging the deer out of the woods behind your Kawasaki. In Idaho you hike through mountains avoiding wolves and bears to find an elk, then you field dress the animal and pack it out on your BACK eating the raw meat along the way for energy.

Plus 29 state parks.
About 7 national parks/reserves/monuments.
6 wildlife refuges.
We have actual lakes that were not created in the NEW DEAL under Roosevelt. Our rafting is on rivers that don't have a control valve. You can shoot wolves. We have a place called Hell's Canyon and Craters of the moon. There are probably nuclear weapons here (but I'm not allowed to talk about that.) Come on!

6. Unique foods. Potatoes +2
Meat and ????. That's right, try having a manly meal that does not include potatoes. A potato from any other state is just not famous.

7. Badical men who are from your state. +3
+1 Gutzon Borglum - Sculpted Mt. Rushmore with his fingernails.
+1 Gregory "Pappy" Boyington – WWII Marine Fighter Ace, Medal of Honor Recipient.
+1 J. D. Cannon (manly actor)
+1 Ernest Hemingway
+1 Sarah Palin (manlier than some males)
-1 Larry Craig
-1 Fred from YouTube
+-1? Jared Hess (made Napoleon Dynamite)

8. Naval vessels. +10
I am not allowed to tell you, however, that there was a naval base in Idaho. Yes. It was for submarines during WWII. They tested and trained on submarines in a LAKE in Idaho.

9. Neighborhood manliness. +10
Washington - They have Seattle.
Oregon - They kill old people.
The other states I will give the benefit of the doubt.

10. Miscellaneous manliness. +10
Nuclear Labratory
Hardcore Miners,
Wallace, ID
Non-preppy Ski resorts
Fort Sherman Academy (for learning survival skills in hostage situations)
Protects America from Canada
Sawtooth Mountains
Native Americans
Canyons, gorges, etc.

Basically, if it came to it. Idaho could become completely self-sufficient. We have weapons, food sources, and lots of natural resources.

Anonymous April 8, 2010 at 8:49 AM  

The Texas state flag is well-known and very manly based on it's simplicity. But for those unfamiliar with Texas history, the flag in the link below was the one that ushered in the Texas revolution. Please apply the appropriate number of bonus points.

Brad from Texas

Dr Awesome April 8, 2010 at 8:57 AM  

Bennett - Excellent work. You also forgot to mention that Idaho is sort of shaped like those "we're number 1!" foam hands you see at sporting events, which is a huge plus.

Brad - While the current Texas flag is pretty manly, the older one is off the charts. Which begs the question, why change? I think Texas took a step in the wrong direction here, and that will undoubtedly prevent them from getting the full bonus points.

John April 8, 2010 at 10:55 AM  


expect a washington post soon. you give Idaho too much credit...

although Washington has everything you mentioned, it has so much more to offer!

Wait and see...


Doug from Michigan April 8, 2010 at 1:45 PM  

According to Wikepedia:
The Michigan flag depicts a light blue shield, upon which the sun rises over a lake and peninsula, and a man with raised hand holding a long GUN representing peace and the ability to defend his rights.[2] The elk and moose depict great animals of Michigan, while the bald eagle represents the United States.[3]
The design features three Latin mottos. From top-to-bottom they are:

1.On red ribbon: E Pluribus Unum, "Out of many, one", a motto of the United States
2.On light blue shield: Tuebor, "I will defend"
3.On white ribbon: Si Quaeris Peninsulam Amoenam Circumspice, "If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you" (the official state motto)

So how many points Dr. Awesome for the following? An elk, a deer and a bald eagle, a sunrise, a lake, a man holding a gun and not one but 3 Latin phrases on our flag. I think you have to give the best flag to Michigan.

Dr Awesome April 8, 2010 at 1:50 PM  

Doug, that is truly a lot of testosterone on that flag. But remember that simplicity is important too. It almost sounds like Michigan is trying to do too much. So while the flag scores high, there's too much going on to get full points.

The April 8, 2010 at 2:42 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Farmer April 8, 2010 at 2:43 PM  

Viewing the recent posts, I think it is clear that many of you are pressing to try and defend your state. NBA Mike, if you think that because Michigan is shaped like a “hand” it becomes something worth hanging your purple ear muffs on, go right ahead. Most of us realize that the “hand” shape you speak of looks more like a mitten. No, not KITTENS, don’t get excited. A mitten, you know those dysfunctional hand covers that you sometimes still see girls wearing. Heck, it is even rare to find a girl willing to wear mittens because they don’t even scream “girly” but scream stupidity. So we have Michigan screaming for us to allow them to fist bump Canada and to slap around some terrorist with a mitten hand. I can understand the fist bumping Canada because I love fist bumping my big brother. And sure you can slap some terrorist around if you promise to first tie them up to a tree with your mitten matching scarf? Maybe mittens are criteria for being a member of the Christmas Carol state along with not being able to count to 11. How long will it take for the Big 10 to realize that they have 11 teams? Take a snow boot off and continue counting. I guess that is what happens when your education base is outside digging stop signs out of the snow. Are they also digging the roads out of the snow because it seems that if the snow is covering a stop sign then you are incapable of driving? And yes we southerners know what an Ice Shanty is. Most people use the term tent. But the real question is why Michigan uses the term Shanty. That word just roles off the manly tongue doesn’t it. Only in Michigan do you rename something to rhyme with panties. I bet North Face makes a Shanty that matches your scarf and mittens too don’t they.
Obi, I think everyone has clearly stated that Cal is not worth mentioning and yet you still try and make a defense for them in a comment. Why not get Dr. A to post your response and not just have it as a comment if you are that proud of Cal. Second, you stated that Cal is a “smorgasbord” of climates. Well a smorgasbord in layman terms means Scandinavians couldn’t decide what the heck to make for supper. So you are comparing your climates to an indecisive Scandinavian. Good job. I see manliness written all over that, NOT.
Onto Texas Red, really the best you can come up with is “you are dumb” and “we have the best motto: Don’t Mess with Texas”. Really, don’t mess with Texas. What is Texas going to do? Is Texas going to get pinned down in the Alamo again? I guess Mexico didn’t get that message did they. You probably needed to translate that into Spanish for them next time. And telling someone not to mess with you is not manly. Did you hear William Wallace say that? Nope, he painted the face up and brought the fight to Longshanks doorstep. And you said that the only thing that Alabama is known for is the song “Sweet Home Alabama” or as you stated “Sweet Pansy Boys”. I guess Colt McCoy thought the same thing when he was taking his Sweet time in the Sweet Texas locker room with his Sweet daddy while Sweet Home Alabama was wooping that Texas butt to win the Sweet National Championship.

The Farmer

The Farmer April 8, 2010 at 2:44 PM  

And Bennett with your Idaho love fest, I must say that I can’t negate most of the information that you provided. I also can’t say much about a state that has learned to grow blue grass? Do cows get the same nutritional value from that smurf grass? Does it have higher protein? I have a couple of cows that might benefit from a higher protein diet. Why did ya’ll stop at grass? Is it harder to color corn? You grow some orange corn and we in business. So I admit, Idaho is a solid state but I can’t let you promote yourself as the manliest state without bringing a little pain. So thankfully my historical knowledge that I learned at Community College has come in handy here. Idaho probably has the most unique border out line. Some say that the upward part of your state looks like a finger displaying #1, but just like the BCS doesn’t buy that Boise State is worthy of playing for a National Championship, I don’t buy that a #1 is what was intended when Idaho was carved out. According to my history knowledge, both Montana and Washington were instituted into the United States in 1889. Idaho didn’t get admission until 1890. So that tells me two things. First for some reason neither Montana nor Washington wanted the strip of land that you now call #1. I am really curious what is located in that portion. Surely this vast wilderness that you so highly speak of doesn’t include the #1. I find this very fishy that this strip of land was left for free taking if it was truly a vast wilderness of manliness. Something has to be wrong. Or maybe is this where the blue grass was found? Maybe Montana and Washington got scared off when they saw blue grass. I know I would be scared. I would be thinking some blue fungus had taken over the grass and would want no part of that. I am still very curious though and Wikipedia is not giving me the answers I need. Moving on, sure Alabama has a little portion of the state that kind of sticks out but we have a solid, manly reason for it. It is because we told Florida we needed somewhere to put our big o’ battleship, The Alabama, and that was that. Battleships solve a lot of problems. So I am very curious. To be perfectly honest, I see more of a “hot dog” between two buns thing going on with Idaho rather than a #1 symbol. Being a hot dog between two buns is not exactly a manly picture if you catch my drift. And I think in hopes of not exciting the California readers, you do see my point without giving greater details.
But you did provide a solid answer for Dr. Awesome’s point scheme and weren’t putting a full court press on “Being A Manly State” like some others that we know. However, Alabama is still far ahead of Idaho in manliest state. Just from college sports alone, The Farmer was already at 70 points and I wasn’t even done with Dr. A’s #4 criteria. I was too busy using my fingers to type for me to finish counting the swimming championships that Auburn has had in the past 10 years. With 10 more points coming because of the USS Alabama fighting in WWII, blowing by 96 points would be as easy as bush hogging the lower 40. So in effort to not totally humiliate the state of Idaho, I simply make the statement “Alabama is still the manliest state”
Now back to drinking sweet tea and birthing donkeys
The Farmer

Brooke April 8, 2010 at 6:09 PM  

I actually think Idaho looks more like a pistol aimed at Canada. That's got to be good for some points.

Svenn April 8, 2010 at 7:03 PM  

Alaska: 157 + 1ish

1. State Flag: Blue with the Big Dipper and the North Star. +3; Positives are: only 2 colors and 1 simple graphic so pretty easy to make, blue is the color of the Infantry, and the North Star is a common navigational aid so our flag will help keep you from getting lost. Negative is the inclusion of a constellation with the word “Dip” in its name.

2. State Bird: Willow Ptarmigan… Seriously, we are the land of the Bald Eagle and we picked the Ptarmigan to be the state bird!?!!? I’m tempted to give us the full on -10 points for having such a crummy bird (what’s with the silent ‘P’?), but as our state fish is the King Salmon (a ferocious predator in its own right), and our state fossil is the Wooly Mammoth I’m still going to have to give us +5. After all, the (p)Tarmigan’s natural habitat is “open tundra and muskeg” how many other state birds could survive in that climate? Even the “Arctic” Goose migrates south for the winter.

3. Pro Sports: +100. What? We don’t have a single Pro Sports team in the Great State of Alaska? Maybe because we are too busy fighting the harsh landscape and Mother Nature in a battle for survival to be bothered playing silly games. (If there is a ball/ dice/ or some sort of spinner thing that will repeatedly come off the little peg when you give it a manly whirl IT IS A GAME! Balls can take a lucky bounce, dice can take a lucky bounce, even crazy spinner type things can get lucky- when was the last time someone ran a “lucky” sub 4min mile? Running is sport all else is just games…but I digress). Speaking of racing, we have the “Last Great Race on Earth” the Iditarod, ‘nuf said.

4. College Sports: Umm, I think we have hockey, maybe skiing or some such nonsense. I guess I will have to even out the plus one hundred from above with a 0 in this category.

5. Hunting/fishing/outdoor activities: Yes, yes, and yes! Your state may be able to boast Grizzly Bears, we have the Kodiak Grizzly- yeah it’s bigger. Moose, check. Wolves, check. Musk Ox, I know you don’t have any of those in the lower 48. Caribou, delicious check. That should cover hunting. Fishing- Halibut, Kings, Silver, red, and pink salmon, ling cod, the list goes on. -1 point for “The Deadliest Catch” though. Seriously, it is not a requirement to use profanities when fishing up some delicious crab for the table. Additional points for having a good chunk of the state located North of the Arctic Circle, being home to North America’s tallest Peak (Mt. McKinley/ Denali), having gold (both yellow and black), and “bush” communities accessible only by air or dog sled. No lost points for metro area’s with more than 2million people, less than 700,000 live in the whole state. +19.

Part One...aparentley this response is way too long for one comment...

Svenn April 8, 2010 at 7:04 PM  

....part 2
6. Food: Reindeer dogs, smoked salmon, moose burgers, Alaska King Crab Legs, etc. Not only are our foods unique, they are primarily meat based so +10!

7. Badical Men: Hmm…. Wyatt Erp stayed in Nome for a few years prospecting gold after his “incident” at the OK Coral, if that counts? Minus points for Lance Mackey, sure he won 5 Iditarods and 4 Yukon Quests, but he openly admits to smoking weed and that’s no bueno. +1ish.

8. Naval vessels: There were 4 notable USS Alaskas: 1. a wooden-hulled screw sloop-of-war in commission from 1869 to 1883 that saw numerous small actions, +5.
2. a steam trawler chartered to serve as a minesweeper during World War I, in commission from 1918 to 1919, +5.
3. the lead ship of the Alaska class large cruisers, in commission from 1944 to 1947; she saw action in the last days of World War II, +10 for having an entire class of ship named after it.
4. an Ohio class ballistic missile submarine commissioned in 1986 and currently in service, -10 for being in a class of ship named for another state.

9. Neighborhood: Canada and Russia are the only things in our neighborhood so not really sure how this category plays out. Alaska is way more manly than Canada to be sure, but Russia used to push “paratroopers” out of low flying planes into snow banks without actually giving them chutes…Germans painting all the rocks on the ground white was a nasty surprise for those manly Russians. 0 points for now, can I get a ruling from the judges?

10. Misc.: +10. Full points for any number of reasons ranging from, missile sites to sightseeing, men hunting bears to manhunting bears, the longest day to the looongest night, and of course United Sates Army Alaska “Arctic Warriors!”….last time I checked there was no command called United States Army Texas/Alabama/Michagan etc.

Mike April 8, 2010 at 9:09 PM  

I bet I could think of an individual reason that every single state in the union is manly; yes, even California (if I really, really tried). I know that Michigan is clearly the most manly, so I don't have to nervously defend it... it's like Michael Phelps at a swim meet: the gold is already mine, so I'm just watching with interest to see who gets second place. And, in my confidence, I am perfectly fine with giving tips to my "competitors". So if anyone needs help in proving their state's manliness, just ask! After all, this is the United States of America, and we are the most badical, manliest, incredible country on God's green earth! So even if we squabble amongst ourselves, we know that together we are number one. So keep the comments coming; even the long-winded, confusing, sissified thoughts from Galabama.

Seacow April 9, 2010 at 2:43 PM  

California +416 points

1. We have a bear on our flag, and it's not too complicated either, so it gets a +4

2. Our state bird is a Valley Quail, while it's original, it's not very manly, so it's a 0

3. Professional sports teams - we've got sports teams coming out our ears - 57 points (negatives included)

4. College Teams - We've got more than we know what to do with. 253 points (negatives included)

5. Hunting in California isn't prime, so we get a 0, but we get points because we have every single type of geography. 25 points (originally 35, but -10 for our big cities)

6. Unique foods - we've got tons of unique food like In'n'Out, Fuddruckers, Napa Wines, Sierra Nevada Brewery - 10 points

7. People: 0 points (we've got manly people and unmanly people, lots of them, they equal each other out)

8. Naval Vessels: We've had 7 naval vessels named after us, two of them did something completely manly and earned us an extra 10 points - 45 points

9. Neighborhood Manliness - It's safe to say we're manlier than Oregon, Nevada, and Arizona - 15 points

10. Misc: We've got the Marines, The Navy, the Air Force, and the 10th largest economy in the world - full 10 points

I think college teams shouldn't be so heavily weighted, cause that's where we killed everyone else, even Florida.

Cal from California

Cal April 9, 2010 at 2:45 PM  

California +416 points

1. We have a bear on our flag, and it's not too complicated either, so it gets a +4

2. Our state bird is a Valley Quail, while it's original, it's not very manly, so it's a 0

3. Professional sports teams - we've got sports teams coming out our ears - 57 points (negatives included)

4. College Teams - We've got more than we know what to do with. 253 points (negatives included)

5. Hunting in California isn't prime, so we get a 0, but we get points because we have every single type of geography. 25 points (originally 35, but -10 for our big cities)

6. Unique foods - we've got tons of unique food like In'n'Out, Fuddruckers, Napa Wines, Sierra Nevada Brewery - 10 points

7. People: 0 points (we've got manly people and unmanly people, lots of them, they equal each other out)

8. Naval Vessels: We've had 7 naval vessels named after us, two of them did something completely manly and earned us an extra 10 points - 45 points

9. Neighborhood Manliness - It's safe to say we're manlier than Oregon, Nevada, and Arizona - 15 points

10. Misc: We've got the Marines, The Navy, the Air Force, and the 10th largest economy in the world - full 10 points

I think college teams shouldn't be so heavily weighted, cause that's where we killed everyone else, even Florida.

Cal from California

Cal April 9, 2010 at 2:46 PM  

whoops! sorry for the double-post

Dr. Awesome's Mother April 13, 2010 at 1:13 PM  

Canada is the best.

Bennett May 4, 2010 at 1:45 PM  

Haha! Funny people.

Washington shouldn't be threatened by Idaho. We're not out to get you. Hey, I think you have some great stuff. It's just that Seattle kinda brings you down.

To others, Montana and Washington didn't claim North Idaho because they weren't man enough to get there. Montanans got tired of lugging their stuff over countless mountain passes and just gave up. Washingtonians were coming East across the wasteland that is eastern Washington and figured it wasn't worth going on. Later they found out they had stopped just short of paradise.

Additionally, legend has it that the surveyors from Montana and Idaho territories were working together. The Montana guys got the Idaho guys drunk and re-drew the lines so that they would get more land. Makes sense when you look at it. But I didn't bring that up before because I thought it would count against us.

From all this discussion I'm thinking there are different forms of manliness. In one sense, AK is the manlinest, hands down. But AK is like that man you see with the beard in the old truck with the camper on the back. You know, the guy that wouldn't know how to use a napkin or a toothbrush. You respect his manliness, but you worry that if he gets hungry he would know how to clean and cook you. California has a form of manliness, but its kinda like a male cheerleader. You respect his skills, but its hard to fully accept.

To the Farmer:
If you're from AL and you visit ID. I guarantee you'll like what you see. You might not chose to live here since you couldn't survive the winter, but you'd definitely want to plan you next 10 years of summer vacation to our various hunting and fishing areas.

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